Damn! I've Been A Mother For 4 Years Already?

Damn! I can't believe I've been doing this for 4 years already, so before you wish my boy a happy birthday, somebody please give me a pat on the back.

I have always imagined motherhood being a hard task, I wasn't particularly the maternal type. Before my son had been born I had never changed a nappy before, so I was in for a few surprises along this motherhood journey. However, I never dreamed of doing this alone. I have always had a "can do" attitude and I tend to keep myself occupied so there's not much time to self reflect on how well I have tried to raise my child. But as I sit here, looking at my over active, intelligent young man; who started feeding himself with that big old Tommy Tippee at 3months old, began walking on those tiny legs at 9months, danced his first Azonto at 1, learnt his numbers and his alphabet early, to now telling me who's better between Messi and Ronaldo and tells me off whenever he hears me say a "bad word" I realise I'm a pretty bad ass mother. (Just in case you forgot to give me a pat on the back) 

In the last four years I have been able to reach milestones that are deemed unimaginable; moving into my first home and buying my own car and paying all these ridiculous bills (damn adulthood) are little stepping stones that I have almost taken for granted. As a single mother I feel as if my time is limited and that I haven't achieved much for my age, but to be able to have a roof over my head that I've made into our home and a car that gets us from A to B are things that some people my age without children haven't been able to achieve yet. I don't want to compare myself to any other being as that is a self inflicting habit to have. My point is, I underestimate myself as a young mother and what I am able to achieve whether big or small. 

I've had the advantage of living at my mothers house for the first 3 years of my sons life, it just didn't make sense rushing out of her home, to live with just my child and a "clueless me". My Mum and Dad have been my biggest support system over the last four years. But, on a daily basis it's just been myself, Mum and my baby and everyone else has fitted themselves in over the years. Without her support, Psssht! Only Lord knows.

 I am proud but I do envy those that have a family home in which children are raised with both a Mum and a Dad. To put it simply I feel as if I have failed my sons growth in simple home education. A child cannot learn and mirror everything from a woman's perspective. There needs to be balance. The mother looks after the child and the Father looks after the Mother. But, we're four years deep now, meaning all that jibba jabba I just gave you is a little too late. He's a grown little man now and I'm just glad he decided to give life a shot and stuck with us in that emergency room on 23rd November 2011.

Happy Birthday King x

Here's to many more years of love, joy and prosperity